I mean the speech coming from a stand point of condemnation, criticism, judgement, mockery and stance to demean you. It can be painful.
It's more painful when it comes from a loved one or fellow christian associate.
This should never be found in a person's life not to talk of a Christian. In the kingdom of God, we have a structured way of talking and we talk for specific, intentional reasons not just to open our mouths.
Unfortunately, all that proceeds out of the mouth of some folks are in form of arrows, bullets, garbages and repulsive contents.
I've never seen where such has helped the recipient of those nature of words, rather it either destroys them or pollute their minds. And that's not what my Bible instructs.
The apostle Paul wrote about the acceptable pattern for our speech structure and the effect it should have on our hearers.
"Let your speech at all times be gracious and pleasant, seasoned with salt, so that you will know how to answer each one [who question you]. (Ephesians 4:29 AMP).
He says gracious and pleasant "at all times" not sometimes.
You may say, "I have to talk harsh and use some criticism and judgemental words on people so they can listen to me". But hey, that's not the right approach and it's against scriptures and even common etiquette rules.
Scripture never permitted us to 'sometimes' use criticism on people. The above scripture clearly solicited for gracious and pleasant words "at all times".
Secondly, the apostle used a common example that's familiar to us; SEASONED WITH SALT.
What's the meaning of the words seasoned and salt?
Season, in this context means, to flavour food with spices, herbs or salt. Meaning those three substances add flavor to whatever food we consume especially salt. Any food prepared without it will turn out tasteless.
Salt is simply a common substance used extensively as a condiment and preservative. This simply means salt serves two basic purposes;
• As condiment (to enhance the flavour of food) and
• To preserve food.
Consequently, your words are like food to the soul of your hearers. Knowingly or unknowingly, your words affect your listeners.
To this end, your words should be flavoured with salt which gives taste and preservation to your words so your hearers can be blessed and edified. (Not necessarily physical salt but in expression of kindness, thankfulness, tolerance).
When your speech is seasoned, it can;
• Preserve the soul of your hearer from depression, anxiety, fear, lust or any ongoing problem his/her mind may be combating.
• It will also bring comfort, hope and strength to that fellow.
When you criticize and condemn people, you put them in more sorrow and problem instead of taking them out of it.
Apostle Paul says, "...that they may be edified who hears you" and so "...you will know how to answer each one [who questions you]".
Those are the core reasons for seasoned speech. If the things you always spit from your mouth does the opposite, then you're killing people psychologically and emotionally.
What about speaking vulgar and dirty slangs? Those are garbage that corrupts and pollutes a person's mind. It's just like a food without preservative — the absence of salt. If you always talk dirty, immoral and profane, you minister rotten food to your hearers. I'll leave you to think about what rotten foods do to people.
Same apostle Paul writes:
"Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]." (Ephesians 4:29).
The Ephesians account gives a more elaborate explanation on this. Do not let unwholesome words EVER come out of your mouth. Let it be only for building others, not destroying or putting loads on them. That's the only way your speech can bless someone.
Please, I'm not saying you shouldn't correct or rebuke someone doing wrong as some corrections may sound harsh.
Corrections and rebuke with the right motive are blessings to a person because they are essentials for saving and putting to order that person that's doing wrong or walking into error.
Rebuke and reproof is a show of love. It's like saying, "I love you and don't want you to be destroyed by your own actions", even if it comes harshly.
God Himself practices this toward His children. (Hebrew 12: 6-7, Proverb 27:5-6).
Additionally, the Word of God is a benchmark for reproof and correction. (2 Timothy 3:16).
So, it is crucial to correct when needed but criticism, condemnation and judgement by rubbing people's weaknesses, inabilities, insecurities, failures on their faces in mockery shows you lack empathy and obviously adding loads on the person rather than bringing relief, comfort and hope.
You also dilute the person's self esteem, water down his/her confidence, and rubbish his/her worth leaving that folk depressed and with feelings of worthlessness.
Please, be careful of what you say with your mouth so you don't destroy people unknowingly in the name of exercising your freedom of speech or speaking your mind. Be empathetic and loving at heart when speaking. Not everyone has mastered the art of filtering words.
If arrogance, pride, stubbornness, hatred or anger is an issue (because these are often the source of speech without manners), ask the Holy spirit to help you eliminate it for your sake and others around you.
May love guard and rule our hearts. Amen!
God bless you.
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