There's a phrase we've all heard and if we're being honest, we've all said it at least once.
"Oh, they'll get a dose of their own medicine."
Maybe it was your close friend who suddenly started giving you the cold shoulder for reasons you still can't fully explain.
Or maybe it was a coworker who smiled to your face every morning went behind your back to take credit for a project you poured yourself into.
Perhaps it was even closer to home. A family member, someone who was supposed to be in your corner chose to embarrass you publicly or betray you, and now every time you see their name on your phone screen, your heart tightens.
And in that moment; that hot, very human moment, a plan starts forming in your heart.
"I'll just treat them the way they treat me. Let's see how they like it."
And It may feel completely justified. You may feel right about it. Almost even noble like justice was about to be served, and you were the one holding the spoon.
But can we pause right there?
Because I want to talk about what actually happens when we decide to become the pharmacist of other people's consequences by giving them their own dose.
Now, here's the thing about matching someone's energy...
It sounds empowering until you realize what it's actually doing to you.
Picture this: it's a Sunday afternoon, the family is gathered after church, jollof rice is on the table, and then that aunty looks across the room and says loud enough for everybody to hear — "So when are you getting married? You're not getting any younger o."
Somehow, that tinged or felt like an attack. Your face burns in anger. And so you fire back with something sharp enough to silence the whole table.
You may have won the moment. But later that night, you're not replaying your victory. You're replaying her face. There's an uptight atmosphere at home. What started as her "wahala" has somehow become your "wahala" to carry.
That's what matching negative energy does. It doesn't release you, it ties you. You came to the table to eat and left with a weight you'll spend days trying to put down.
Now here's the thing: beyond the emotional effect on you, there's a bigger issue.
It's simply not what scripture calls us to do. Romans 12:17 says it plainly: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil."
Not "only repay evil if they really deserved it."
Not "repay evil unless you've been patient long enough." Just don't do it. Full stop.
"But they started it..."
I hear you. I really do. And I'm not going to pretend that being the matured person feels good in the moment, because sometimes it absolutely does not.
Think about the friend who ghosted you after you were nothing but loyal to them.
Or the partner who was emotionally off long before the relationship ended, leaving you confused and quietly grieving something that hadn't officially ended yet.
Being gracious and patience in those situations doesn't feel like power. It feels like loss. It can feel like the other person is walking away with the trophy while you're left standing there being unbothered when you are, in fact, very bothered.
But here's what I've learned and what the Word consistently reminds us: your response was never really about them. It was always about you, who you are and what you represent.
Proverbs 19:11 says that "a person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."
In this scripture, overlooking offense is called Glory not weakness. There is something honourable, something genuinely powerful about choosing not to retaliate. It is choosing to display God-class wisdom.
The world will call it weakness. God calls it wisdom. And one of the strongest display of wisdom is patience.
So if the answer/prescription isn't a dose of their own medicine, what is it?
Galatians 5 gives us the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Notice that last one — self-control.
It didn't say situation-control nor other-people-control.
Self-control.
Because that's actually the only thing you were ever in charge of.
Imagine two people who both get betrayed by the same friend. The first one launches a quiet campaign subtly bad-mouthing, withdrawing favours, waiting for the perfect moment to pay back.
The second one cried, prayed, set a boundary, and chose to keep their heart clean. Six months later, the first person is still bitter, still checking the other person's social media, still rehearsing arguments in their hearts in the shower.
The second person has genuinely moved on. It was the same wound but completely different outcomes which is all based on the response.
Romans 12 tells us not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. That's not passive advice. That's an active strategy.
Yes, a strategy!
Because you're fighting back with the one thing the enemy never sees coming: love, grace, and a completely unbothered peace that makes absolutely no sense to the natural mind.
That is your real power move.
Now, before you close this post thinking I just told you to let people walk all over you. Let me be clear.
There's a difference between the person who forgives a toxic relationship and quietly creates distance, and the person who forgives a toxic friend, keeps them close, and then wonders why they keep getting hurt.
Both chose grace. Only one chose wisdom alongside it.
Choosing not to match someone's energy does not mean you accept mistreatment. It doesn't mean you stay in situations that are slowly draining the life out of you.
It doesn't mean you smile through obvious harm and call it holiness.
You are absolutely allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to have honest, uncomfortable conversations.
What it does mean is that when you do those things, you do them from a place of being aware and grounded and not revenge. Because there's a difference between protecting your peace and plotting someone's downfall, and only one of those is going to leave you feeling truly whole and fulfilled.
So the prescription has already been written by Doctor Jesus. Lol!
Use the scripture's dosage.
Let me ask you something before you go. And be honest!
Is there someone in your life right now, a name that came to mind the moment you started reading this?
Someone you've been quietly building a case against? Someone you've been waiting or trying to "match their energy"?
What if today was the day you put the spoon down?
Not for them. Not because they deserve your grace — they may not. But because you deserve the freedom that comes from not letting how someone else behaves determine who you become. The freedom of not buying their life, their hate, their backbite, their gossip, their toxic behaviour, their betrayal.
You deserve to go to bed at night without replaying conversations. You deserve to walk into rooms without carrying borrowed bitterness.
The next time someone hands you an opportunity to give them a dose of their own medicine, remember you are not a pharmacist (even if you are by profession, it doesn't apply here. Lol!).
You are not a judge. Respond with patience. Lead with grace. Exercise that self-control that the Holy Spirit has already placed inside of you.
That, beloved, is the real dose.
God bless you.
Share it with someone who needs this reminder today. And drop a comment below.
I'd love to know what resonated with you most.
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