UNHEALTHY COMPARISON

Does it mean that comparison can have a healthy form since this blog title indicates "unhealthy comparison"?

Well...

Yes, it can. And I'll tell you why. Just keep reading through. I'm certain you'll learn a thing or two.

First off, I'd love to establish why people compare themselves with others?

I'm sure that in one way or another you've compared yourself unconsciously to someone, no matter how confident you are. That's because there's definitely someone that's living an expectation you desire to live–directly or indirectly.

Well, humans generically are social creatures. This however, influences our minds to be attentive to other people's thoughts about us, and by so doing, we compare ourselves to them. 

This however, is very unhealthy.

The negatives of comparison can have great effect on our minds.

Measuring yourself up with another individual that looks or seems better than you either in looks or condition in every wise can leave you with feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, unnecessary competition, jealousy/envy, depression, etc.

"I just wish I look like so-and-so"

"If only I was as rich as Mr. X"

"Miss A is so great at that skill, I just wish I can level up"

Thoughts like these keeps ringing in the minds of multitude of individuals every passing day, even as they walk the street or go about their businesses. These thoughts seem to dominate their minds whenever they feel the need to improve on themselves using the lives of others as a standard.

This is very unhealthy. And because it's unhealthy, you need to stay away from it as to avoid being sick with yourself.

Understand that God has placed in every human being including you, the ability to be different. It is nowhere written that some individuals should look or be the same, not even identical twins. The difference in looks, the gifts, talents, potentials, purpose, etc invented in and for you is what makes you special. Comparing yourself with someone you perceive is doing great at something is absolutely wrong because that single act questions God's work in your life.

Besides, not everything you see is actually authentic or real. Everything displayed on the outside isn't really want it is.

There are comparison traps everywhere.

Social media is the biggest of them all because it's in the leisure of our bedrooms through our phones and PC (personal computer).

That media world is full of reels and post of people's achievements, physical endowment (both the real and fake), happy living and the like.

But you should know that people only highlight on the best moments of their lives and keep the struggles and weaknesses hidden. No one shows their ugly experiences to the public.

So, I bet you, using the daily updates of your friends, extended families, celebs and people you hold in high esteem and regard as a yardstick to measure your life is a complete waste of time. You don't know what's actually going on in the secret.

What do you need to do?

Apply moderation of social media. I personally engage in every of my social media platforms for enlightenment. My news feed feeds me with inspiring and educating articles rather than updates about people's personal life. I have no interest in them. That's because of the friends on my friends list. You can work on that too.

Clear off all that leaves you depressed on your social media spaces (especially on lifestyle and beauty). Feed on contents that is channelled to improving yourself to be of value. You'll really help yourself by doing this. Also cut down on your time there else Facebook, Instagram, etc will become your office for depression and lack of self worth.

Secondly, quit contrasting your "lesser" qualities and skills (so to speak) to another person's best qualities. Those are their strengths. You have your own strengths too, you know.

Just because Mr. A is thriving with his skill and qualities doesn't mean you don't have yours too. You have your own uniqueness. You're just paying attention on that of others which blinded you to your own uniqueness. Focus on them, amplify them, build on them and work on the integral parts that needs attention.

There's absolutely no reason to get frustrated with yourself because of another person.

Additionally, hypocrites and fakes are everywhere. Don't fall victim of comparing the "outside" of people with your inside. You'll be surprised to discover that you are even better than people you've set as an object of comparison. 

I strongly suggest you drive your attention on bettering and improving yourself and boosting your confidence. Train your mind to see the best of you and all God has placed in you.

Whatever that's beyond your control to change, pay no attention to it. Just lend that attention to aspects of your life that can be worked on and work on them.

Furthermore, learn to be content and grateful for what you have. That's the one way to escape depression and worry about your present state. After all, you definitely posses what many out there doesn't. Identify it and be grateful for it.

At the preface of this article, I mentioned that comparison can be a good thing, but to a limited extent though.

Why do I say this?

That's because comparison can be a great catalyst for change. It serves as a motivation to improve our lives and enable us make substantial progress.

Definitely, you'll be geared up when you see another especially your age grades thriving and making great success. 

I therefore only encourage you to get motivated by them. Discover what got them to that point and follow suit if you dim it fit. But never do this at the expense of your emotional well being.

My last point which is very crucial is; never be envious or jealous of some else's feats, talents, gifts or endowment (in every wise especially looks–beauty).

Envy and jealousy only stimulates grief, bitterness and ill feelings towards others.

If this is a challenge you have, here's what you should do whenever you notice envy and jealousy: genuinely celebrate and be happy for people's milestones and accomplishments. Trust me, it works.

Learn to praise them on that thing that makes you seem insecure. Do this before them and behind their backs. Gossip and backbiting will only retain envy and jealousy. You can also ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Very important.

Just try it.

So in all, here's the bottom line:

Make no one your competition. The only real competition you have is you–who you were.

Use your past self as a benchmark for comparison. Compare who you were yesterday, last month, last year to your present self and make more advancements towards achieving a better you and a better future.

This enhances tremendous growth when you make it your focus.

Know this and know peace.

God bless you for reading through.

Shalom.