Dear ladies, you can be a queen. No, it's not really about a physical crown on your head but the aura you exude as a lady wherever you go.
The bible has the story of a woman who was made a queen by virtue of marrying a king but was displaced from that position which was given to another. She was a queen by virtue of marriage and position but not by qualities.
I've come to learn that if any lady should stand out, she must have the qualities that makes her a woman of value and standards.
In this context, I'd define a queen as someone who wears exceptional qualities and is living the best version of herself and whom God has made her to be. Those qualities (her crown) becomes a point of attraction to everyone around her.
Don't worry, we'll look into these qualities intently.
But first, let's quickly look at Vashti and Esther from the book of Esther.
Before Esther came into the picture, Vashti was queen. Scripture didn't make clear how long Vashti was queen but it was clear about how she was dethroned.
King Ahasuerus hosted a big feast and requested the presence of queen Vashti but she dishonoured the king by turning down his request which got the king really furious. And this one act cost her, big time. The crown didn't stay too long on Vashti's head because the vessel bearing the crown lacked what it took to keep the crown.
See this:
"...let it be recorded in the records of the Persians and the Medes so that it will not be altered, that vashti shall come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she." (Esther 1:19).
Did you notice the last sentence?
It simply means that the position of a queen can be given to someone else and the criteria for choosing a new queen is "...another who is better than she [Vashti]."
That was how Esther came into the picture.
The question now is:
How was Esther better than Vashti?
How was she able to capture the king's heart?
Esther was an orphan girl who was raised by her uncle, Mordecai. They weren't from a rich nor a royal family yet she was chosen as queen. Physically speaking, there was nothing 'too special' that qualified her.
I scanned through her life and I discovered some things that made her different. I saw that Esther already had the characteristics of a queen even before she wore the crown.
So, what then are those characteristics/qualities?
1. She was a virgin.
Virginity here stands for purity not necessarily the presence of the unbroken hymen but the practice of abstaining from sin (both sexually and morally).
A lady who has made a resolve to stay away from unclean and immoral lifestyle is a lady who has made herself different from the others in a world full of sin and immorality.
Know this today, dear lady, purity is an identity and this identity is attractive. A lady who is celibate (abstains from sexual relations) and has boundaries is respected and admired. When you are loosed and lack self-control, you present yourself as cheap thereby loosing respect from others. That's not depicting royalty at all.
A queen doesn't expose or give out her body to just anybody. Why do you think kings keep concubines? That's because no other man can sleep with a woman a king has laid with. Similarly, when choosing a bride for the king, they go for virgins.
So, if you want to be seen, respected and honoured like a queen, strive to live a pure life both inwardly (the heart) and with your body. The benefits of purity are numerous.
2. She was beautiful
In as much as Esther was beautiful outwardly as the bible describes, she was also beautiful inwardly. That was the advantage she had over Vashti and all other maidens. Your inward beauty as a lady matters most and it is seen in the condition of your heart.
[3-4] "Let your true beauty come from your inner personality, not a focus on the external. For lasting beauty comes from a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is precious in God’s sight and is much more important than the outward adornment of elaborate hair, jewelry, and fine clothes." (1 Peter 3:3-4 TPT).
This scripture literally places great importance on inward beauty than the outward beauty because God regards it as most important and precious to Him.
The outward adornment of nice hair, jewelry and designers doesn't move God but man. Though your outward ardonment might attract a man to you, it cannot not keep him.
That's the mistake many ladies make. They think they just need a nice body shape and beautiful face to attract attention. They think expensive hairs, nice make-up and fashionable clothes (looking good generally) is enough to attract a man. Yes, it might attract him but it is your inner beauty that keeps him.
This is applicable to both men and women. I mean, you can't keep profitable relationships by just having yourself all dolled up all the time. Your inward personality (a good heart, character, integrity) is highly needed too.
I'm pretty sure Vashti was really beautiful but it really didn't reflect the way she treated her husband—the king. She treated him with dishonour. Naturally, a man hates dishonour from their female counterparts not to talk of a king. Men loves to be respected and honoured. That's how they perceive love from a woman (especially their wives).
Esther on the other hand treated the king with honour, respect and wisdom.
Wisdom was a quality Esther had. It played out when she invited the king for a banquet twice before telling him her request of saving her people against the evil plans of Haman. She gladdened and pleased the king's heart before making her request and she got it without stress.
Other seen qualities of hers was submission and obedience. She was a submissive and obedient niece to Mordecai before and even after she became queen.
If some ladies in our generation happen to be in Esther's position, they won't be able to listen to anyone again but do as they wish.
Compassion, kindness, love, humility, obedience, submission, gentleness, wisdom, selflessness (Esther was selfless, that was why she risked her life to go before the king just to save her people). These are the queenly qualities Esther exhibited which you too should exhibit.
As a single lady, I'm sure you want to marry a very responsible man with kingly qualities. Why not build yourself to become a lady with high godly and moral standards. You attract who you are. If you present yourself as a queen, you'll definitely attract a king.
Mould yourself to become the queen you are. Queen Esther was a godly woman that attracted the heart of her king, Ahasuerus. Make that your reality by moulding yourself to become a queen.
Whether or not you have your king (husband) beside you, display the aura of a queen wherever you're found (at home, at work, in school, in any organization, firm or association).
Wisdom, submission, humility, obedience, compassion, gentleness, love, peacefulness, purity of heart and body should be your adornment not just the physical accessories you put on.
Additionally, I'd love to advice you, dear lady, to make it a life decision to always improve on yourself.
Learn habits and routines that builds your life. Invest your time in relevant knowledge and skills that make you better each passing day.
Learn skills that'll help you build good relationships with others like communication skills, listening skills, leadership skills, emotional intelligence, integrity, etc.
Also develop your mind by having a growth mindset and enlarging your capacity, by building your confidence and growing your spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical life.
Make yourself an asset first to God, to your society and to those around you.
As a single lady, focus on what really matters in life; God and your purpose. If married, add these up with your family (husband and children) and other things you prioritize in life.
Intentionally disable every negative lifestyle and live the queenly life from today.
God bless you.
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